The Partner’s Guide to Postpartum: How to Truly Support a New Mom

By Team Fitmoms

Updated on 27 Jun 2025

Mother and father preparing a feeding bottle for their newborn in a kitchen setting.

Parenthood begins with teamwork, tenderness, and trust in each other. Partners can support mothers during postpartum in various ways.

Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful but daunting task. While having their baby in their arms is fantastic, new moms experience various emotions and hurdles during the postpartum period. The pain of labour, the toll of childbirth, the hormonal shifts, body dysmorphia, postpartum anxiety and depression, and physical and mental healing; new moms are dealing with a lot. In these difficult times, the partners can become the backbone. You can become a solid support system for new mothers during the postpartum period. While most family members are focused on the child, oftentimes the partners notice the turmoil their better half is going through. If you are one such partner and want to help them in these trying times, this article is for you. In this article, we will explore how to support a postpartum mom in a way that genuinely helps.

Understanding the Postpartum Experience

The postpartum or the fourth trimester is a time of recovery, physical pain, hormonal shifts, emotional ups and downs, and restless, sleepless nights. New mothers experience bleeding for weeks, sore nipples, night sweats, while they are healing from vaginal tears or a C-section wound. They go through all of this while still taking care of a newborn. Partners need to understand that the new mother won’t magically go back to their old physical, mental, and emotional state immediately after giving birth. It takes them weeks, sometimes months, to feel like themselves again.

How to Support a Postpartum Mom

Doing all this heavy lifting during the postpartum period without any support is a hundred times harder. As partners, you can make this time less painful and traumatic for the new mother. With intention and effort, you can help them heal quicker and enjoy this period instead of letting it consume them. You need to be present for her, you need to be conscious, to make her feel safe, seen, and supported.

First Things First

Before we begin, all the male partners in the world need to understand this: You’re not “helping”, you’re parenting. She did not have the baby alone. The child is yours too. So when you change the diaper, refill the milk, or sanitise the baby's clothes, you are not helping or doing her a favour. You are taking care of YOUR child. You need to ditch that “let me know if you need help” immediately. See what needs to be done, and do as much as possible.

Father changing his baby’s diaper while bonding at home.

Support your partner by taking on the difficult work. Changing diapers, soothing the baby, and showing up daily help her feel loved and rebuild your bond as a couple.

Do the Dirty Work Without Being Asked

Do you hate changing diapers? Well, nobody really loves doing that. It's messy, stinky, and one would rather scroll food reels than change diapers. Agreed, you don’t have to like it. However, you need to do it regardless. That is what parenting is: showing up and caring for your child. When you don’t, your partner has to take all responsibility, which further drains them. So, if you want to become a partner who is not dormant but actually someone they can depend on, do the dirty work. Look around. See what needs doing. And then just do it. Change that diaper. Fold that laundry. You see, she is busy feeding the child, don’t wait for her to finish so she can heat the meal. Head to the kitchen and do it yourself, so a hot meal will be on the table by the time she is done. Small moments like time can bring immense comfort and joy to recovering mothers.

Step Up for Feeding Time

Whether she is breastfeeding, pumping, or formula feeding, the process is exhausting, and any help is welcome. You can divide the work and take up some bottle-feeding sessions and burping shifts. You can help clean and prep the bottles or pump parts if you struggle with the other work. Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy and burns a lot of calories. You can also bring her a snack and water, or cook her favourite soup or brew her favourite tea to enjoy as soon as she finishes feeding the baby. Being by her side when she feeds the baby in the middle of the night can be great. It would make her feel supported and appreciated. The new mother must know she is not in this alone.

Close-up of a newborn baby’s tiny hand holding their parent’s finger.

Stay close during feedings and diaper changes. These everyday moments teach your baby your touch and voice, building a deep and lasting connection.

Guard and Nourish Her Mental Health

Postpartum mental health is fragile, including baby blues, postpartum anxiety and depression, and body dysmorphia. There are several cognitive and emotional risks mothers face during the postpartum period. Look for signs that hint at something being wrong. Pay attention to notice if the sadness and numbness are taking over her days, or if she is experiencing intense irritability or anger. See if she is having any trouble bonding with the baby.

These are early signs that she may need help. Don't wait for the extreme signs like cripping anxiety that disrupts her sleep or thoughts of harming herself or the baby. Most importantly, do not judge her. She isn't choosing this. She is experiencing this, just like you are, but worse because it comes from within. Remain calm, consult an expert, and approach this with utmost empathy and love. Do not be so consumed with looking after the baby that you forget your partner needs just as much attention as affection. She just came out of a painful and life-altering period. She needs you. She needs you to see her, not just the baby. To acknowledge her pain and effort, not just her results. She needs you to love her through the challenging moments, not just the highlight reel. Tell her she’s doing great. Tell her she’s not alone. Tell her you’re proud of her. And then prove it with how you show up, day after day.

Rebuild Intimacy and Connection

Many people struggle with this. Partners often feel distanced during and after the birth of their child. All the chaos sometimes affects the intimacy and sex life of partners, further disrupting the connection between them. But here is the thing, postpartum intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about reconnecting emotionally, physically, and mentally. Her body has changed, and she might feel uncomfortable with this shift. Her hormones are all over the place, and her mind is filled with so many questions and worries.

Naturally, she doesn't want to engage in sexual activities for a while. But that doesn't mean you don't hug her or cuddle with her, or give her belly rubs. You can still hold her hand, offer some kind words, cook for her, or watch the baby while she rests. Take some time to connect with her, and no, talking only about the baby doesn’t count. Ask her how she’s feeling, what she needs, and what’s on her mind. If you think the distance is breaking your connection, just opt for open communication. Ask her, “I want to show you how much I love you. What would help you feel that right now?” When she feels emotionally safe, physical closeness will follow.

New parents smiling as they admire their newborn baby together.

Share the beauty of parenting. Step in with love, care, and presence, and let her know she is not alone in this.

Conclusion

Big gestures aren't the point of postpartum support. It's about little, regular acts of responsibility and love. She will never forget this time and remember whether you were detached or supportive. Moments like this often strengthen or forever scar the couple. Now is your moment, partner. Show her that she has a fantastic partner and her child has an amazing parent.

Frequently Asked Questions

Everything you need to know about the product and billing.

What is the best diet plan for postpartum weight loss?

A balanced diet with lean proteins, healthy fats, and complex carbs supports recovery and boosts metabolism. Nutrient-dense meals with vegetables, iron, and omega-3s help with healing and energy levels. Staying hydrated aids digestion, and eating at regular intervals prevents energy crashes. Avoid crash diets, as they can slow metabolism and affect milk supply.

How to stay motivated to lose weight after pregnancy?

Focus on overall well-being instead of just weight loss. Set small, realistic goals like daily movement or healthier food choices. Enjoyable workouts, tracking progress beyond the scale, and accountability through a support system can help maintain motivation. Consistency matters more than intensity, and sustainable habits lead to long-term results.

How to stop emotional eating after pregnancy?

Recognizing emotional eating triggers is the first step. Pause and assess if hunger is real or driven by stress or fatigue. Replace eating with activities like deep breathing, journaling, or short walks. A structured meal schedule, proper sleep, and hydration help control cravings and build healthier eating habits.

How to handle stress eating?

Stress eating is often a coping mechanism. Identifying stressors and addressing them through relaxation techniques like deep breathing or stretching can help. Eating balanced meals reduces sudden cravings, and keeping nutrient-rich snacks on hand prevents impulsive eating. Over time, mindful habits replace food as a stress response.

What workouts are best for new moms?

Low-impact exercises like walking, yoga, and bodyweight strength training help rebuild strength safely. As endurance improves, squats, lunges, and light resistance training can enhance muscle tone. Short, structured workouts fit into a busy schedule, and listening to the body ensures steady progress.

What is the role of nutritionist-approved food in postpartum recovery?

Nutritionist-approved food focuses on balanced, whole ingredients that aid healing, energy, and metabolism. It includes lean proteins, healthy fats, fiber-rich carbs, and essential vitamins to support recovery and overall well-being. Eating nutrient-dense meals helps regulate hormones, improve digestion, and sustain energy levels for new mothers.

What does a nutritionist plan for weight loss include?

A nutritionist-designed weight loss plan focuses on balanced meals that support metabolism and sustainable fat loss. It includes lean proteins, fiber-rich carbohydrates, and healthy fats to keep energy levels stable. Portion control, meal timing, and hydration play key roles. Instead of restrictive diets, the plan encourages whole foods and mindful eating to promote long-term results.

What is the difference between a nutritionist and a dietitian?

A nutritionist provides general guidance on healthy eating, weight management, and lifestyle-based nutrition. They may specialize in areas like postpartum health or sports nutrition. A dietitian, on the other hand, is a certified healthcare professional who undergoes clinical training and can create medical nutrition therapy plans for conditions like diabetes or digestive disorders. While both focus on nutrition, a dietitian has formal credentials and can work in medical settings.

Who is a nutritionist?

A nutritionist is a health professional who specializes in food, diet, and nutrition to help individuals achieve their health goals. They provide guidance on balanced eating, weight management, and lifestyle-based nutrition. Some nutritionists focus on specific areas like postpartum recovery, sports nutrition, or gut health. Unlike dietitians, nutritionists may not always have formal medical training, but they play a key role in promoting healthy eating habits.